Yesterday morning, my mind raced to this post by a former professor. I remember reading the portion of the article he posted a few months ago and feeling that same way. It’s quite interesting, as it speaks of life looking and feeling completely normal, unless you are watching or reading the news and constantly being reminded of our failing economy. I don’t have a TV, and I don’t read the paper; therefore, I easily forget what hard times our country is going through.
One month ago, I began my job at Grace to You (John MacArthur’s ministry) as a Customer Service Representative. I was so thankful for God’s provision, and I have loved every minute! It’s truly an amazing thing to work 8 hours a day with members from your church. 🙂 But as I sat in a staff meeting yesterday morning … that’s when I remembered the article mentioned above. We were informed that Grace to You has been hit pretty hard by the economy over the last several months. A lot of time was taken to explain how due to the shortfall in giving, there are some changes taking place … and some cuts being made. These things are happening now as preventative action in order to keep the ministry running in the future. So, long story short … I lost my job (along with 2 others). I went home, after only a few short hours, and did the only thing I could think to do … sit down with my Bible and journal.
I wrote down my thoughts and prayed, expressing my confusions and uncertainties to the Lord. I did not understand why this was happening, but at the same time I had peace. I knew that my God was on His throne, in complete control. I knew that His actions were in line with His love for me and goodness toward me. I knew that He had a reason to take a job away from me that He’d just given me and that I really loved. And I knew that He sovereignly orchestrated for me to now be able to attend the Truth and Life Conference last night and today … on the topic of “Suffering.” 🙂
What does this mean now? Great question to which I wish I had the answer. But thankfully I know the One who does know the answers, and I can learn, once again, to walk by faith and dependence on Him. My gut reaction was to move back to Sacramento, but I was quickly reminded by the girls at work that I needed to pray about that and seek the Lord’s will. I have already been offered a free place to live here until I find another job – make that two actually. 🙂 I just wonder what the Lord has in store. Is He pushing me to go to Italy sooner than I was planning (like now)? Maybe, and I will be writing more about the possibilities of that in another post. Does He want me to pursue a masters degree? Does He want me to move home to Sac? I just don’t know right now. But I do know that He will be faithful to guide me each step of the way.
I read this passage yesterday … truths which comfort and challenge my soul ….
“Then Job answered the LORD and said: ‘I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of yours can be withheld from You. You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’ I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes.’ ” – Job 42:1-6